If you haven't heard there was a cruise ship that was quarantined from Japan due to an outbreak of the coronavirus. I have prayed daily for those on board. They have been sent back to their nations and placed in a new quarantine. In an article from the Washington post a woman described the cruise as a floating penitentiary because they were not allowed to leave their rooms to prevent the spread of the virus.
It got me to thinking about how a virus is very much like negative energy. Those people went on vacation with the intention to live their best life's docking in exotic places, eating good food and drinking mixed drinks with umbrellas in them. One sick person has spread the virus to almost 300 people. Everyone is fearful and they have taken all the precautions to keep themselves from contacting the virus. I'm sure those people were doing everything recommended to them to stay healthy along with being extra careful not to touch anything or breath too deeply. It doesn't matter though because when a virus is in the very air you breath you won't avoid being affected. Even if you don't get infected your life is limited because you have to confine yourself to avoid being contaminated. Being confined is torture enough.....
Think for a minute how you felt the last time you were surrounded by negative energy. When you are in a space where people are ridiculed and all the subjects around you is negative in nature you don't feel safe. As a child I hid in my room to avoid being debased. As an adult I pack up altogether and leave any situation I'm not comfortable in because hiding doesn't keep you from being affected. When there is no safe place to relax into being yourself you simply lock up inside yourself and your life is negatively impacted just like those people on that cruise. You have to hide yourself and it stuns all the beauty and creativity you where meant to share with the world. When you feel sad there is no one you can trust to share it with. When you feel happy you fear sharing that as well because you fear that your happiness will be picked apart to shreds like Cinderella's dress when she happily showed her sisters and step mother.
Hiding is not coping. Hiding is a symptom that you have already been affected.
It's not natural to get used to hiding everything that you are. Many of us become accustomed to it because we are trying to avoid getting hurt by those we have learned will hurt us but we max it out and extend that energy to everyone... even those that do love us. It will hurt your friends who go out of their way to try to show they love you. It will hurt your children because they will be robbed of being nurtured emotionally and feeling safe with you. It will hurt your romantic relationship because you don't know how to give of yourself. Without even noticing it's you who have become the negativity you have been desperately trying to avoid and protect yourself from. It becomes a curse and just like a virus it spreads into your lineage and infects generations of different versions of you. Worst of all the ones you wish you had protected because their yours that came from you. The world can be a painful place but we must love something important enough to protect it and provide for it the love and nurturing it deserves.
I admit I was affected. I grew up where sarcasm and insults take a front seat while inspiring hope, love of one self ,and faith in your ability went out the window. It prepped me for a never ending fight and I lived in constant defense of myself even long after I was on my own. Too early in my life I had began to feel that life was only suffering. Today I finally understand that suffering is what happens when we can't let go of the rope that is tearing the skin from our hands and wrist. When we can't let go of what's been said about us that shrink our souls. When we can't let go of what's been done to us to dampen our spirits. We hold on to abuse, neglect and ridicule believing that we have won when we stop responding to it and we go numb. Truly it's a sign that we have lost the ability to respond accordingly to ourselves and our own emotional needs.
My husband and his children from his first marriage healed me from blocking my emotions in a crash course of being overly clingy and running wild and rampant with their emotions. It was like everyday someone was crying and talking about their feelings and being all over me constantly like I was a body pillow. I was so annoyed and overwhelmed but they pushed me to accept the love until one day I cracked. It came out angry at first and then I burst into the most relieved tears I've ever cried my whole life. They have all grown up now with lives of their own. I miss them saying I love you a thousand times a day for no reason, and the way we would fall asleep on the couch watching movies huddled together. It was hard being a step mother to someone else's kids with a prejudice mother... but I wouldn't trade the experience for the world because they saved me and in doing so saved my children as well from having an emotionally absent mother. Many of us are sick because we grew out of sick places filled with negative energy. If you really want to free yourself just let someone love you and be thankful enough to give it back and start allowing yourself to feel again. When we don't allow ourselves to feel life is an old black and white tv. Don't you want high definition HD color? Let that shit go.
It got me to thinking about how a virus is very much like negative energy. Those people went on vacation with the intention to live their best life's docking in exotic places, eating good food and drinking mixed drinks with umbrellas in them. One sick person has spread the virus to almost 300 people. Everyone is fearful and they have taken all the precautions to keep themselves from contacting the virus. I'm sure those people were doing everything recommended to them to stay healthy along with being extra careful not to touch anything or breath too deeply. It doesn't matter though because when a virus is in the very air you breath you won't avoid being affected. Even if you don't get infected your life is limited because you have to confine yourself to avoid being contaminated. Being confined is torture enough.....
Think for a minute how you felt the last time you were surrounded by negative energy. When you are in a space where people are ridiculed and all the subjects around you is negative in nature you don't feel safe. As a child I hid in my room to avoid being debased. As an adult I pack up altogether and leave any situation I'm not comfortable in because hiding doesn't keep you from being affected. When there is no safe place to relax into being yourself you simply lock up inside yourself and your life is negatively impacted just like those people on that cruise. You have to hide yourself and it stuns all the beauty and creativity you where meant to share with the world. When you feel sad there is no one you can trust to share it with. When you feel happy you fear sharing that as well because you fear that your happiness will be picked apart to shreds like Cinderella's dress when she happily showed her sisters and step mother.
Hiding is not coping. Hiding is a symptom that you have already been affected.
It's not natural to get used to hiding everything that you are. Many of us become accustomed to it because we are trying to avoid getting hurt by those we have learned will hurt us but we max it out and extend that energy to everyone... even those that do love us. It will hurt your friends who go out of their way to try to show they love you. It will hurt your children because they will be robbed of being nurtured emotionally and feeling safe with you. It will hurt your romantic relationship because you don't know how to give of yourself. Without even noticing it's you who have become the negativity you have been desperately trying to avoid and protect yourself from. It becomes a curse and just like a virus it spreads into your lineage and infects generations of different versions of you. Worst of all the ones you wish you had protected because their yours that came from you. The world can be a painful place but we must love something important enough to protect it and provide for it the love and nurturing it deserves.
I admit I was affected. I grew up where sarcasm and insults take a front seat while inspiring hope, love of one self ,and faith in your ability went out the window. It prepped me for a never ending fight and I lived in constant defense of myself even long after I was on my own. Too early in my life I had began to feel that life was only suffering. Today I finally understand that suffering is what happens when we can't let go of the rope that is tearing the skin from our hands and wrist. When we can't let go of what's been said about us that shrink our souls. When we can't let go of what's been done to us to dampen our spirits. We hold on to abuse, neglect and ridicule believing that we have won when we stop responding to it and we go numb. Truly it's a sign that we have lost the ability to respond accordingly to ourselves and our own emotional needs.
My husband and his children from his first marriage healed me from blocking my emotions in a crash course of being overly clingy and running wild and rampant with their emotions. It was like everyday someone was crying and talking about their feelings and being all over me constantly like I was a body pillow. I was so annoyed and overwhelmed but they pushed me to accept the love until one day I cracked. It came out angry at first and then I burst into the most relieved tears I've ever cried my whole life. They have all grown up now with lives of their own. I miss them saying I love you a thousand times a day for no reason, and the way we would fall asleep on the couch watching movies huddled together. It was hard being a step mother to someone else's kids with a prejudice mother... but I wouldn't trade the experience for the world because they saved me and in doing so saved my children as well from having an emotionally absent mother. Many of us are sick because we grew out of sick places filled with negative energy. If you really want to free yourself just let someone love you and be thankful enough to give it back and start allowing yourself to feel again. When we don't allow ourselves to feel life is an old black and white tv. Don't you want high definition HD color? Let that shit go.
