Recollecting Your Strength

These days just flow by so slowly that I seldom know what day it is anymore. I wake up some days anxious and full with my emotions. I think I'm okay but the slightest thing can bring me to tears. Mostly music does it to me and not the sad stuff either which is weird .... it's the happy inspirational things like when you cry in church and I suppose the optimistic hope I have inside just flows out of me. It's because I'm so extremely grateful that my children and husband are safe, we have everything we need and are together.
It's been weeks with my family together and there hasn't been even the slightest bit of tension or argument. I didn't even think that was possible for my kids. I've had the time to cook and bake new recipes so it kinda feels like Thanksgiving break everyday. I am focused only on keeping my family smiling and happy so I'm wipping out all the skills I have to make that possible; even if it means we might not fit through the door when we finally get the greenlight to go back to normal life.
Somedays my husband and I just spend the day falling asleep in front of the Netflix and other days we will spend the whole day listening to music or go for a walk in the woods. I've made the Dalgona coffee in decaf (can't have caffeine) which is amazing but no quarantinis for me that everyone is mixing up right now. I no longer drink at all..... No self righteous bullshit about it either. I wish I was lit most days like the rest of y'all but since I refuse to be on medication managing my health requires taking all other precautions seriously. It sucks too because no one should have to be sober through this situation everyday... but here I am regretfully coherent and alert.
I've started to avoid watching the news and I just read about it instead because I can't stand to see the worry and fear in the faces. My husband handles all the shopping because I'm really not interested at all in being around other people for more than just the coronavirus. The energy is so thick and uncomfortable out there I can't stand it.

    I wasn't going to post anything. I haven't been feeling up to it really and because I feel like who am I to tell anyone how to feel right now . People are too consumed with worry for themselves to even care what's going on with me. However... I'm writing anyway for myself and maybe someone who is feeling what I'm feeling to not to feel alone.
I'm so frustrated my people pleasing addiction is craving to find someone to save. I hate not being able to do more to help. There are families out there running out of money and rent and utilities are still due. There are people who have worked hard to build businesses for themselves that have no clue as to how and if they will recover. The whole world is in a state of panic and none of us know what will happen next...
I know it's a phase that will pass just as everything else does. What I fear most is the aftermath because the hardest thing to accept is that many of us will likely lose someone we know and even worst the possibility of losing someone we love.
This time on pause has really given me introspection about all the difficult things that have happened to me in the last 2 years of my life. I see now it all was ultimately preparing me for this moment.
I've been living a pretty isolated lifestyle for a while now and it's provided the clarity and happy peace I've always wanted away from empty moments. My only connections beyond my front door is my Mom and my bestfriend. I still got love and hopeful wishes for everyone else out there; but I've become honest with myself about my need for deeper connections instead of just settling for whoever will have me while their instrested. I can't be happy with surface material and people wondering vacantly in and out of my life never building solid foundations and never establishing bonds I can trust.
Since I have learned to love myself I have made the needs of my heart a priority. I won't live forever and before I die I want to have known and had what's really important to me. Through that action I have learned to see worth in myself and I have finally realized that God blessed me with smarts and resourcefulness. I've always had everything I needed to sustain and support myself I just never saw it because I was always distracted. If I had not made those changes to my life I know I would be stupid frantic in this pandemic right now. I would have wanted to run home the way I used to and go hunting down the familiar eventual let down. I have been blessed with the tools I needed to get used to being alone and strengthened by my hardships to be sufficient under pressure in order to thrive. Health is the new wealth now and luxury is the ability to wipe your own ass without getting it on your hand. Boredom has never killed anyone and there are worst places to be confined to than home.
If like me you find yourself worried and overwhelmed with stress of the unknown every few days sit with people and talk about all the times you have won when you didn't think you would. All the times you should have been dead but yet you are still here and remind yourself of your struggles so you can remember your strength. Keep your head high and have faith because we are gonna win this this thing too.

The power of belief can be enough to pull you through

I am bored like everyone else in this world wide quarantine....  I'm a regular at social distancing though just for my peace of mind. I can't wait for it to be over so things just get back to normal already. In the meantime all this extra time at home won't go to waste. I'm meditating daily, working and getting alot of things done I've been putting off for ages. Before this pandemic started I was feeling really burned out with work and was struggling to stay motivated. I was looking for a new jolt of energy to be excited and inspired again. Nothing jumpstarts my creativity and passion for my goals like the state of emergency!

Some of us fold when we are anxious and scared, but for those of us who have had to over come states of despair and emergencies through out their life this is just another day to think strategically and be crafty. Long before this pandemic the rules of life has always been the same... Only the strong will survive.

Many people are fixed to their tv screens and are so consumed by fear they aren't even seeing that we as individuals still hold all the cards. There is a elderly man I think he's in his 80s with bad health from the first corona cruise ship to be quarantined making a full recovery. The doctors thought he would die, his wife thought he would die but he stated in his interview he was determined to live no matter what. He noticed that all the others that did not make it was on respirators so he refused to take one and resorted to breathing excercises to strengthen his lungs and he pulled through like a champ. We have to stand firm even in the face of our own immortality sometimes and and let it know not today Boo!

I personally believe that the power in us all is in our belief in hope and that we can persevere. I've been in some dark places in my life but somewhere off in the distance even when I couldn't see it hope lived within me and has always pulled me through. Placebos work because we think that they will and when we belief that we are strong and capable we work better too. For those of you that are in a panic out there today I urge you to look for ways to calm your mind and find your strength. Try meditation and or prayer and be greatful for the simple and beautiful things still around us. Most of us are quarantined in family units or groups of friends so really enjoy your time with your loved ones and avoid wasting that valuable time worried in front of a television. If you notice people in your group that are anxious or scared talk about it together and build each other up so that your unit is strong. I wish you all the best of luck and I pray we all make it even though reality is clear that not all of us will.  We have to be strong to prevent our children from being scared and we have to be strong to pick up the pieces and heal those who will experience loss.

This terrible pandemic

I woke up this morning alarm clock free to the stream of light from my bed side window kissing my face. I slept really well so I feel good and optimistic about the day. Before I can decide what I will have for breakfast I lose my appetite to the reality that the world is at the mercy of the coronavirus pandemic.
Logic and history dictates that this coronavirus situation is not at all unnatural and was bound to happen eventually. There has been many viruses worse than this one to plague our world before.... The most difficult thing to accept about it is the fact that it's happening to us right now! Learning about the plague , Spanish flu, smallpox and syphilis wiping out the native Americans sounds terrible. None of us are ever walking around thinking one day it will happen to us. We are just greatful we weren't here when it happened in the past and pray we will be gone before it happens again.


I don't mind self quarantining because I'm a introvert anyway. I don't mind the economy dropping because my husband and I are extremely inventive survivalist who have conquered more uncertain times than this. I'm not worried about myself or my family getting sick and dying because we are all generally healthy. My anxiety and worry is for the loss of our Sages and those we love with struggling immunity. Unfortunately already 3 members of my extended family have the virus. I keep them in prayer along with prayer for the world.

The whole world is shaken up right now. We all have the same concerns and fears and it's manifesting in alot of negative ways. People you thought you knew are looking a mess with their prejudices, ignorance, and selfishness sticking out. It doesn't matter though because some really beautiful and positive things are happening as well. I almost cried happy inspirational tears to seeing the Italians singing on the balconies with each other. They have it pretty bad right now but they are still here with their heads up high singing songs to unite and inspire motivation through this thing. The world has not ended and will not end with this pandemic because people will always find away to come together even if they can't touch as long as we can feel. We feel each other's anxieties, emotions and fears and those of us that are strong in body and mind will always rise to support those that need us.

During these difficult times if you have the positive energy, strength or extra to help someone that needs you be the light to shine hope in places without it. Many people are afraid right now and just because you can't touch them doesn't mean you can't help.

Free Spirited Limitations

 I'm only completely inhibited and free around people I trust and that's not alot of people at all. I want to be as free as it is possible for me to be. My freedom is at the top of my list only second to my family that is the most important thing to me. I've felt too scared to be myself most of my life and became imprisoned by that fear. Naturally it set my sense of freedom very high once I began to accept myself. I have intentionally look for ways to stretch so that I can relax inside myself by finding new ways to feel freer. I have danced at drum circles around fires in the moon light and on top of tables in rennisance taverns with pirates and fairies. I have jumped off of cliffs into deep waters and floated back up to the surface . I've had actual dance battles in the club back in the day were I have danced so hard and passionately I would be drenched in sweat. I would get this high as if it was only me, swirling colors and the music. I have run naked through the woods with nothing but a sheet and boots in the morning sun. I have been the loudest person in the room. I have brought the party inside myself and shared it with my world and it all was wonderful. I have lived.
I've heard negative but fun rumors about myself that are alot more interesting than I actually am. Makes me jealous of the persona of myself that's being created. It got me thinking about all the things I would do if it was possible for me to be 100% free.
I wish I was brave enough to join a nudist society or to have been a burlesque dancer. Nudist aren't nudist to be sexy they do it to be free of a constricted society. I've always been facinated by the idea of being naked and feeling whole at the same time instead of feeling valunarable. Being naked in front of someone for the first time is terrifying. All you can think about is your every flaw and being rejected. I imagine there would be a rush of relief, love and unconditional acceptance to be only what you are and accepted because of it. How different our world would be if we had never known we were naked in the first place. We put on labels and shiny things and get farther from who we are and ironically try to define who we are by how we dress. It's that moment of seeing someone see all of you for the first time and being accepted that really matters to me. On a larger scale and non sexual I believe it would be amaze balls!

I would have liked to be a burlesque dancer because dancing has always been a passion of mine but mostly because of how clumsily and awkwardly I came into finding my sexy. I hit puberty earlier than I should have so being considered sexy was terrifying at 11. It's confusing for little girls to grow breast and hips and then be bombarded with the most ridiculous, contradicting expectations of society. They want us to be beautiful and sexy and then they want to write notes all over us to restrict it for a comfortable level for them. You can find someone beautiful and sexy easily because to someone everyone is. Once you run a beautiful sexy person through the society edits you won't be instrested in them anymore. I have always found it weird that someone could want to hide you for all the reasons they love you physically, psychologically or emotionally. I'm glad my husband isn't like that because he wouldn't be my husband. I doubt he would want me to be a burlesque dancer but I would have liked to be before I got married just for my own confidence and learning how to feel sexy in myself. Growing up in a basic christian family made me feel handicapped for being a woman. When I got into relationships with men I didn't understand the value of a womans feminine energy. I saw women as the weaker sex and felt weak for being at the mercy of men honestly. Now I understand the beauty and strength in being soft, supple , powerfully nurturing and dangerously sexy. A powerful woman can build or break an empire with the passion she radiates and inspires and that is the real reason that sex sales.

I probably will never join a nudist society or become a burlesque dancer and you know why... because even though I accept my body I don't possess that kind of high and unadulterated confidence. I wish I did and I'm admittedly jealous of people that can because I know they are riding an ultimate sky ship party and I'm not there. I'm okay with it because I'm just glad I don't hate myself and that I don't feel ugly and wrong the way I used to feel. I don't hide my body from my husband, or avoid going to the beach so people won't judge my body. I'm gonna always wish for more free but I'm not mad at where I am. I'm actually perfectly content. If I should ever feel like I've toned down to much I'll just live vicariously through my persona... she's bad ass.

In the company of the sick

If you haven't heard there was a cruise ship that was quarantined from Japan due to an outbreak of the coronavirus. I have prayed daily for those on board. They have been sent back to their nations and placed in a new quarantine. In an article from the Washington post a woman described the cruise as a floating penitentiary because they were not allowed to leave their rooms to prevent the spread of the virus.
It got me to thinking about how a virus is very much like negative energy. Those people went on vacation with the intention to live their best life's docking in exotic places, eating good food and drinking mixed drinks with umbrellas in them. One sick person has spread the virus to almost 300 people. Everyone is fearful and they have taken all the precautions to keep themselves from contacting the virus. I'm sure those people were doing everything recommended to them to stay healthy along with being extra careful not to touch anything or breath too deeply. It doesn't matter though because when a virus is in the very air you breath you won't avoid being affected. Even if you don't get infected your life is limited because you have to confine yourself to avoid being contaminated. Being confined is torture enough.....
Think for a minute how you felt the last time you were surrounded by negative energy. When you are in a space where people are ridiculed and all the subjects around you is negative in nature you don't feel safe. As a child I hid in my room to avoid being debased. As an adult I pack up altogether and leave any situation I'm not comfortable in because hiding doesn't keep you from being affected. When there is no safe place to relax into being yourself you simply lock up inside yourself and your life is negatively impacted just like those people on that cruise. You have to hide yourself and it stuns all the beauty and creativity you where meant to share with the world. When you feel sad there is no one you can trust to share it with. When you feel happy you fear sharing that as well because you fear that your happiness will be picked apart to shreds like Cinderella's dress when she happily showed her sisters and step mother.

Hiding is not coping. Hiding is a symptom that you have already been affected.
It's not natural to get used to hiding everything that you are. Many of us become accustomed to it because we are trying to avoid getting hurt by those we have learned will hurt us but we max it out and extend that energy to everyone... even those that do love us. It will hurt your friends who go out of their way to try to show they love you. It will hurt your children because they will be robbed of being nurtured emotionally and feeling safe with you. It will hurt your romantic relationship because you don't know how to give of yourself. Without even noticing it's you who have become the negativity you have been desperately trying to avoid and protect yourself from. It becomes a curse and just like a virus it spreads into your lineage and infects generations of different versions of you. Worst of all the ones you wish you had protected because their yours that came from you. The world can be a painful place but we must love something important enough to protect it and provide for it the love and nurturing it deserves.

I admit I was affected. I grew up where sarcasm and insults take a front seat while inspiring hope, love of one self ,and faith in your ability went out the window. It prepped me for a never ending fight and I lived in constant defense of myself even long after I was on my own. Too early in my life I had began to feel that life was only suffering. Today I finally understand that suffering is what happens when we can't let go of the rope that is tearing the skin from our hands and wrist. When we can't let go of what's been said about us that shrink our souls. When we can't let go of what's been done to us to dampen our spirits. We hold on to abuse, neglect and ridicule believing that we have won when we stop responding to it and we go numb. Truly it's a sign that we have lost the ability to respond accordingly to ourselves and our own emotional needs.

My husband and his children from his first marriage healed me from blocking my emotions in a crash course of being overly clingy and running wild and rampant with their emotions. It was like everyday someone was crying and talking about their feelings and being all over me constantly like I was a body pillow. I was so annoyed and overwhelmed but they pushed me to accept the love until one day I cracked. It came out angry at first and then I burst into the most relieved tears I've ever cried my whole life. They have all grown up now with lives of their own. I miss them saying I love you a thousand times a day for no reason, and the way we would fall asleep on the couch watching movies huddled together. It was hard being a step mother to someone else's kids with a prejudice mother... but I wouldn't trade the experience for the world because they saved me and in doing so saved my children as well from having an emotionally absent mother. Many of us are sick because we grew out of sick places filled with negative energy. If you really want to free yourself just let someone love you and be thankful enough to give it back and start allowing yourself to feel again. When we don't allow ourselves to feel life is an old black and white tv. Don't you want high definition HD color? Let that shit go.

Love. The torture worth fighting for

Love is a scary thing. We all want it even those of us that do everything in our power to avoid it out of fear. We're scared because we can't control it. Love will make you doubt your every thought and over analyze your actions. Even when I hug my children I get this feeling as if I'm falling and I feel light headed like I'm not getting enough oxygen to my brain. It feels really good knowing that they are mine but terrifying that they aren't immortal and can be hurt or lost to me.
I don't see love the way most people do. I think most people see it as an opposite to hate and bad but I believe love is a force far greater than good or bad because it has the ability to rule them both. For my children I am capable of great and horrifyingly terrible things if it means keeping them from harm. I don't have a limit and there is nothing that I can say that I wont do if it came to it for them. I'm willing to sacrifice myself completely for them. If it had not been for my children I'm not sure I would have ever learned to love with my complete self at all.
What makes love so scary is the surrender. You have to take a risk of confessing your heavy desperation for someone. It seriously hurts to contain love in secret. It's like your every exhale wants to blurt out I want you and can't live without you! Most of us don't do it though do we.... We swallow it down like burning bile provoking nausea in our stomach that spreads into our soul. I cannot count the times I have held back my affections and tortured my soul with secret loves in the past. That was until I first experienced romantic love reciprocated. It's sad for me to say that out of all the romantic connections I have had in my life the only man I can say without a doubt in my mind loved me back is my current husband. I have had men appreciate my love for them, infatuated with my body and what I can do for their egos, or their pockets but few real and honest loves. Well there was one guy friend I had reciprocated love with. I loved him so much I wanted him around forever so I wouldn't take the risk of being together then breaking up and losing him. I lost him anyway because he couldn't handle not loving me the way he really wanted to. I'm still glad it didn't happen though because I would rather it never happened at all than have him become a victim of someone too damaged at the time to love him the way he deserved properly. When I did start trying to love better it was unhealthy because it was codependent. I would find people more messed up in the head and heart than I even was and I would try and save them. I would be everything I knew they needed and over nurture them until they became dependent on my love and affection. It was soooooo wildly unhealthy because my want to be needed created emotional vampires. I had not even learned to love myself so I was just sacrificing myself to the needs of others. I would allow the drain to the point that I always felt dead and tired inside and had nothing left to even motivate myself for the kind of life I really wanted. I have put myself out there alot!
I have looked like a damn fool quite often and you know what... I'm not mad about it or regretful! Especially coming from where I come from and going through what I've gone through! I'm proud that I still tried to love and I still believe in love. If I had given up I may have never found it.
We chose the torture in silence as an option instead of revealing our love because being rejected feels like an instant death. To want someone and not be wanted back, appreciated or even acknowledged is a blow to our existance. It feels like dying over and over again but I have to admit it's worth it.
I have learned it's better to die and be reborn after rejection than constantly swallowing regurgitated love we can't express. Holding it in keeps you sick and I can't go through life sick on love I'm too afraid to admit is there. I try very hard to throw myself in and give it all I've got if there's room for a chance. Many time I've come up short and died from my love not being wanted. I emerge from the grave a cynical rotting corpse of a person but I come back to life. Life is about risk. If we aren't willing to take a chance on failing there is no chance we will ever win. I've gotten wiser about what's worth a chance though. I'll take the first step on opening my heart and allowing my feelings to flow and if I notice the other person doesn't move I don't chase I just pack up my efforts and move on. I don't die everytime I'm rejected anymore because I've resurrected myself so many times. It's comfortable to move on confidently when you you know you truly tried. Don't give up on love yall because there is no experience better than finally finding it and having it reciprocated. I watched this documentary the other night about a couple in Germany that did not find love until they were in their 50s! I cried happy tears watching them be so beautifully content and happy. I know in this day and age it's much harder to find but if you keep looking it will find you.

Social media is not a game

When I first started gaining recognition on Instagram I started looking at it from a business perspective. I even took my closest friends off of my page and basically told them to follow at their own risk because I was ready to play the social media game to win. I didn't want them to start to believe for a second my life was candy and unicorns so it wouldn't affect our relationship. I had planned to play the superficial rainbows and lollypops way because that's what most people respond to. It's very easy to do... all you have to do is do what most everyone else is doing. Dress trendy, use current celebrity quotes, act like everyday is the best day ever and pretend to be interested in everything everyone else is intrested in. 😑🤭😖 Yea that didn't last 5 minutes!🤣 I should have known better because everything I'm made out of goes against that act. I'm a scorpio with bi polar disorder for goodness sakes! That's like dressing Eeyore up for a never ending rave. I can only lie well when I believe the lie or really want to believe it to avoid a painful truth. I can't knowing pretend anything especially happy or interested when I'm not.
I do love fashion but only fashion between 1920 to 1960s and bohemian flowy feminine wear. I am also obsessed with costuming and fantasy designs. I hated the 90s when it was the 90s and I hate this new reproduction of it in 2020 even more. I listen to mostly old music like the BeeGees, Elton John, Jason Mraz, old school R and B and 20s jazz. The only new music I'm really instrested in is vulgar dirty gritty gangster rap. The rawer the better.🤗 I love Megan thee Stallion! She's from Houston and a Texan and acts like she kills men on the side for fun while wearing stripper wear. I can't do what she's does but I dig it!  It sounds kind of odd that I walk around dressed all primp and proper like a lady in the 50s listening to gangster rap but that's just my reality. When I really want to be comfortable I dress like a new age hippy witch. What you see is what it is and what you gonna get. I don't worry about it making sense to people. As much as I love fashion I don't love it enough to talk about it everyday or advertise every company that approaches me when I don't love what they want me to sale. I have alot of clothing, jewelry, wigs and stuff..... it's all just stuff yall. On days when I'm struggling to get through the day and I'm all dolled up somehow all the stuff makes me feel sadder somehow. Fashion is fun, trends and pop culture is something to talk about to distract us from monotonous days. At the end of the day they are all things outside ourselves that we won't really enjoy if we're not happy inside. I just require more and I know there are lots of people out there that require it too. My whole life I have always been driven by my pursuit of knowledge and finding the meaning of my existence. I guess you can say I'm a true saposexual. I need someone to teach me something I don't already know or say something so wise and true that challenges my believes enough to have me flip my mind over to redisect myself again. It's why I have always been attracted to older men and my crushes have always been professor types. I get bored easily when there is no meaning behind words and the older I get the less entertained I am by what my options are out here.
I have to be true to myself and nurture my true talents and abilities . I've always been good at helping people through the hard stuff even when I didn't know how to help myself. In the past before I learned to value myself I used my talent to try and get people to value me because I wanted to feel needed and wanted by anyone that would. I don't need or even want everyone to like me now, it's too stressful to even consider attempting to please everyone. The more popular I become the more uncomfortable being a social media influencer becomes for me but I'm coping with it. I won't quit this because it holds me accountable for keeping myself in check and emotionally healthy. There are days I need the pressure to stay motivated and positive to practice what I preach. I'm extremely grateful to my true fans and I want you guys to know that you have helped me see that I am capable of great things when I doubted that I was good at anything at all.
I get asked all the time how to become a social media influencer. Along with the dick picks and guys asking for my what's app number (I don't have a what's app) the other half of my messages is people wanting to be a social media star. I promise you guys that it is not as glamorous as it seems. It starts off fun and then after a year it becomes so monotonous and heavy. It's difficult to have to refresh yourself every week. Lots of people are refreshing and repurposing themselves by the day! Brand companies are seriously out to get you to do the most for the absolute least, and everyone that doesn't understand that what you do is more than taking photos and looking pretty doesn't even take what you do seriously. Trust me it's far more serious than I ever imagined it was and to be honest if I had to do it all over again I wouldn't because I wasn't ready for the responsibility of how much of my time and my life it requires. I've finally reached the threshold where I narrowed it down to a level that doesn't overwhelm me mentally. What I appreciate the most about social media is how it grew me as a person. I didn't know what I was doing at first and I was just winging it and having fun and then it became a job. The pressure was constantly pushing me to confront myself about what I wanted. All I can really do comfortably that I won't get bored with is help people and be honest about who I am so that is what I do. For those of you that really want to do this this is my advice to you.
1. come as you are.
You are going to attract both positive and negative attention no matter what you are doing but if you are being true to yourself it's easier to deal with. People have millions of examples of what fake looks like. They will see right through your bullshit if you pretend to be someone you're not. What's worst is pretending to be someone else at any time for any reason even actors will tell you that it can be damaging to your authentic self over time and cause depression. No amount of money or recognition is worth being miserable for.

2. Do what you are good at and passionate about even if it's not common.... especially if it's not common.
A few good people who are faithful to your cause is better than thousands who just follow you so you will follow them. An influencer is about your faithful audience not your pretend audience. The more real you are to your unique talents the more people you find that truly value you because you are like minded with them. Finding your tribe is in my opinion the best thing about social media. It feels good to know you are not alone and there are people that understand you.

3. If you don't love and enjoy what you are doing enough to do it only for yourself then I dont think this is for you at all. The numbers are up and down. People will come and go and you must remain unfazed and loving what you are doing anyway. You cannot get too emotional attached to followers to the point you are negatively affected if they go. You may form connections you really want to keep forever and they can decide to stop following you if you eat meat and they go vegan. Most people are committed to what they like reflected about themselves. The moment they see something they dont want to see that doesn't fit their vision of what they have decided to believe you are they are gone and you have to be okay with that.

4. Do not respond to negative attention!
You better have a thick skin because people will come at you with ridiculousness. It's a waste of energy to be fighting people everyday that you don't even know that are trying to get you to participate in nonsense. I've gotten so used to this it's taught me grace and patience so well I don't even fight with people I do know anymore. Use your energy towards your goals .If you get a troll in social media world that's a signal that you are doing something right. A troll is really a super fan that is so thirsty for your attention that they are dedicated to make time for stalking you everyday. You must learn to be greatful for them it's a milestone and a reality that just comes with the job.

5. Do not allow money and fame to shape you against who you actually are, what you stand for and have been telling your audience about you. If you are body positive and you start selling diet pills be prepared to fall hard. Fame is like the Aztec Gods... it will lift you up and shower you in riches and then cut out your heart for sacrifice and throw your body over a cliff. Social media seems like a game but a bad move can ruin your real life. Even those pretending to be someone they aren't are still real people behind the mask and real people find away to affect each other.

6. Social media is not just for fun it's a billion dollar business. If you really want to be an influencer invest in business classes and educating yourself so you can be prepared to defend yourself against those out to just use you. Brands will throw free clothing at you while they pay others that know the business and get what they deserve.