You're too sensitive. I've been told that my whole life. So much so that it used to tear me down and melt me into a puddle of shame for being so. I started faking it by saying the meanest things I could think of to both defend myself and show my strength. I did that for so long that it convinced people that it was my true character and I was happy with the results because it kept people from hurting me. The problem with faking your true character is you have to keep it up. It meant constantly holding back tears when I needed to cry. It meant throwing all of my emotions into anger to express myself in a way that wouldn't make me look weak. I've always know how to cross far over the line into the "never say that territory" and with flat harsh truth that cannot be evaded to defend myself. I'm proud to say I'm not that person anymore. I'm not defending a pretend hard shell I refuse to ever wear again and I don't desire to hurt people intentionally in a way that will scar them forever even if they try and hurt me. For those of you who is the "sensitive person " in your family and see it as a weakness you have missed it's super powers. I still cry every time I see Disney's Moana with my ole sensitive butt; even though I'm a 36 year old woman because I know the struggle of Te Fiti. I have found that embracing my sensitivity has vastly increased the way I experience happiness and pleasure of all kinds.... yea that one too!😉 Suppressing our true feelings causes blockages in our energy. When our energy is blocked experiences of joy and happiness that could prevent us from depression and anxiety fall flat like a weak orgasm. I used to see people happy over what I perceived was little stuff and think to myself damn their easily excited like a kid. Deep inside though I admit I was jealous and wanted to be excited too. I was too backed up with my own feelings I was hiding from myself and others. Overtime it will cause you to feel jaded and bitter. A sunny day is just heat , flowers are just allergy inducing weeds and sex is just a race to a climax like a sneeze from your crotch. Sensitivity is not a negative thing at all if you let that energy flow. The more you just simply acknowledge and experience what you feel the more feeling you get in your feelings and the faster you flush out negative feelings. I was such a control freak I even suppressed my positive feelings sometimes for fear of embarrassment. I really used to care too much about what other people think I cringe at the thought of it now. Don't deny your pain, sadness or melancholy. They are as natural as a smile. Allow your feeling to flow in and respect them as legitimate parts of you and surround yourself with people that will acknowledge, respect and care about them too. One of the problems I had is I was always surrounded with people that would gaslight me into believing my feelings weren't valid to the point that I was suppressing myself for others and compromising the way I experience my whole life. Don't let anyone take your authenticity from you regardless of how they perceive it you are the one who has to live your life. Live big and loud.
