The last couple of weeks have been stressful and my anxiety kicked into overdrive due to the migraines and the inability to sleep well. When I can't sleep I pretty much drag myself along because life doesn't stop just because I might not feel like adulting for the day. It's not possible for any of us to be on 100% all the time. Sometimes we are just tired. Work gets monotonous, we get sick, bad things happen sometimes, annoying things happen more often and the alarm clock goes off and you just want to lay there.... but you gotta dust yourself off and try again and again.... This is how I scrape myself up and continue to show up regardless of the obstacles and stay determined to reach my goals.
I have never given my migraines the attention they deserve in the direction of getting help for them because there is no cure for migraines and still to this day scientists are still puzzled by them. Most people I know don't even know they are a problem in my life because I never talk about it. I didn't see the point of complaining about it to anyone when no one could help me. When I am experiencing an episode I just separate myself from people quietly to go deal with the pain. When you are in that kind of pain the last thing you want to make time for is people's opinions and ideas of what you should do; as if I haven't done everything I could to stop pain so terrible you can hardly open your eyes or touch your own face and can last for days at a time. I have been suffering in silence for too long. My husband would see me in pain but I never even discussed it with him until a week ago and we have been together for over a decade. I had decided that it was just a part of my life and their was nothing I could do and talking about it felt like I was giving it power so I pushed it into shadows and I delt with it when I had to return to the shadows with it. This is exactly how not to deal with your obstacles.
My husband knew I had migraines but I was very vague about it so in his mind he though it was just headache. To those of you that do not experience migraines it is far more than just a headache. The pain is so bad that I can't do anything when they come. It completely stops me in whatever I'm doing and puts my life on hold for however long they last. I can't eat, I cant sleep, I can't stand the light of the sun or even a dim light from a lamp. I just ball up with my arms folded around my head in a dark room. Not really talking about your struggles traps you in a world alone with them with no light of hope. I don't like needing help for anything. I'm a nerd so when I have a problem I find my own help through extensive research and fix it myself. Help is less about what someone can do for you and more about the support of just being properly understood. Just being understood gave me a sense of emotional relief. My husband is a Mr. Fixit so when I told him he got on the ball to find me some kind of relief. I'm taking CBD oil for it now that doesn't stop it but makes it easier for me to cope with through the pain. I've done more research and have changed my eating habits to pin point triggers to find out how to prevent them or at least make them more manageable. In a few weeks I will get my daith pierced in both ears(thick middle cartilage) It's a pressure point that has helped many people with migraines have them less frequently, less severe and in some cases stopped them all together.
You aren't going to feel good all the time and rather it is physically difficult or emotional ignoring what's wrong is not going to get us ahead. The longer we go without proper nourishment through our hardships the harder they become. If they get too difficult for us it can land us in dangerous territory and once we lose hope we won't even care how our life breaks down around us.
When it gets hard to stay motivated we must have self compassion for ourselves enough to tell someone we trust even if it seems like they can't help, their hope for us can be enough to cause a spark of hope in ourselves. If it wasn't for my husband's hope I wouldn't have even looked for anymore solutions because I was emotionally exhausted to even try anymore. If you are feeling down know when to rest and after you have rested even if you dont believe find your spark of hope. Those that look will find it. It is never an option to give up on yourself.
